Last Meeting with Aitana

As the craziness of finals week comes to an end, Aitana and I met one more time for the semester this morning. She had just gone shopping with her stepsister. They needed to find a wedding present for their father. Aitana forgot to mention they were traveling to Peru for his wedding! I guess their dad and her stepsister’s mom were finally making it official. I asked her she enjoyed going to weddings. She said that she had never attended one before. That was shocking to me. I told her all about my giant family – my dad has five siblings and my mom has six. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, especially since all my cousins are older than me. Aitana said that she didn’t have that big of a family, just a few younger cousins.

Aitana showed me the gift they bought for her dad. It was a photo album for all their wedding photos. She mentioned how she wished she had a job so she could afford a “more impressive” present. I told her that her dad would love the gift. Then I asked her about her job search – she had mentioned the last few times we talked.

“No one’s really hiring right now,” Aitana told me.

I said that she should try again first thing next semester – that’s usually a lot of places on campus are hiring. Aitana told me that’s what her plan was, after she moves halls. I didn’t know she wanted to move dorms! I asked her why.

“It’s so old! And none of my friends live there.”

Aitana does live in Colby – the oldest (and creepiest) dorm. Her roommate wants to move somewhere too but they don’t plan on living together again. Aitana wants to live with a friend that lives in Waits now. They’re in the intensive English program together. Aitana said that a lot of her friends live in Waits – she really likes it there. Hopefully she’ll be able to move – it doesn’t sound like she enjoys living with her current roommate. She’s very shy and doesn’t like to talk much, which Aitana finds annoying because she can’t practice her English. Luckily, her roommate also mentioned moving, but to Clark and with another girl.

I was still very curious about her trip to Peru. I asked Aitana if she planned on going to Machu Picchu. I’ve studied the Inca in my history and art history classes and I have always wanted to travel there. It looks beautiful.

“I’m not sure if we are,” Aitana replied. I encouraged her to check it out. Aitana said that they would mostly be spending time with their family since they hadn’t seen each other in years. She also wants to go to the beach. My jealously increased as she talked about everything they had planned. Once it was time for me to return to studying for my last exam, we said our goodbyes. I had a strange mixture of melancholy and relief after that last meeting. I was glad to be able to write my last conversation partner blog but at the same time I’ll miss talking with Aitana on an (almost) weekly basis.

This class gave me an opportunity to see how the intensive English program at TCU works. I had never met anyone in the program before this semester. I enjoyed seeing Aitana’s progress over the semester. She really did improve a lot in just a few months because she could only speak English. No one around her really spoke her native language with her. The entire experience reinforced my belief in the merits of an intensive language program. It really helps students learn a language quickly and it allows them to retain more information for a longer period of time. I think it’s the best way to learn a foreign language!

Round Five with Aitana

On the Sunday before finals week, I met with Aitana once again. The entire student body was awaiting an announcement of cancelled finals due to inclement weather. Aitana and I chatted about the stress of finals. I asked her when she would be finished.

“I finished on Friday!” Aitana declared. I couldn’t help but be jealous. Aitana told me she was glad to be done but now she had nothing to do. Over winter break she’s going to Peru with her stepsister to visit their father. Her stepsister, who also attends TCU, won’t be done with finals until Friday. Aitana said that she’s been very bored the last few days. She asked me about my finals. I explained to her that I only had two actual tests on Monday and then three final papers. Aitana wanted to know how long the papers had to be.

“The longest one is eight pages,” I said.

“Eighty pages?!”

I had to clarify the length requirements by using my fingers to show her how many pages. Listening in English sometimes still troubles Aitana, and honestly it stills gets me too even though I’ve been speaking the language my entire life. I think it gets difficult when people talk quickly, especially if you’re learning the language. Overall though, Aitana has made great improvements in her speaking abilities – I can’t believe she only started speaking English in August! That just shows the merits of an intensive language program like the one at TCU. Living in an English speaking country and surrounding yourself with only those who speak the language forces you to learn quickly.

We talked about the icy weather once again. I told her how hard it’s been to stay focused on studying when the temptation to play in the snow keeps lingering. After telling her about my sledding experience inside Amon G. Carter Stadium (so much fun but probably illegal!), I asked her if she had been enjoying the weather. Aitana said she hasn’t wanted to go outside and sled or play in the snow. She’s not a fan of winter weather and can’t wait for the ice to melt. I agreed with her – I don’t like the cold much either. I jealous that she gets to escape to warm Peru for the break! Aitana told me about some girls she saw taking pictures in the snow. They were only wearing bikinis! We both agreed they were insane. I said that my cousins from Minnesota would probably do that since they’re used to temperatures below zero. Aitana thought I said my cousins from Mexico and asked if I spoke Spanish with them – another example of the troubles of listening to the English language!

She asked me how studying was going. I told her I had been in the BLUU all day. She couldn’t believe it. She wondered how I didn’t get distracted by all the people and the noise. I said that it had been pretty quiet all day long – which is necessary for me to stay focused. I asked her where she liked to study. Aitana said that she liked to study in her room. She hated going to the library because it was way too quiet. She felt like if she made the tiniest noise everyone would turn and look at her. I also mentioned how I’d had almost four cups of coffee that day – she was astonished. She said she never drinks coffee. She can’t even stand the smell of it! I told her that I would most likely cease to live if I didn’t have my daily dose of coffee. I get caffeine headaches whenever I don’t have a cup!

I can’t believe I only have one more meeting with Aitana this semester. Time passed almost too quickly!

Round Four with Aitana

This last meeting with Aitana was a struggle to schedule. We originally planned to meet Monday but it didn’t actually happen until Friday. Oops. My little called me Monday morning in tears asking me to take her to the emergency room. Obviously, I wasn’t going to say no. I ended up missing all my classes and my meeting with Aitana – we were there for seven hours! Don’t worry my little is okay. Stress and a perpetual cold induced an unusual panic attack. The health center thought it would be best if she went to the hospital to have some tests done.

Eventually, Aitana and I rescheduled our meeting. We attempted multiple times. Aitana even sent me a text reading “please don’t kill me” when having to back out of another meeting.  She seems to be picking up on American expressions – I don’t think such a phrase is used anywhere else in the world. Our meeting took place over dead days after the blizzard (well what Texans consider a blizzard) struck. Aitana told me she hadn’t seen snow in seven years! I asked her if she was enjoying the weather. She didn’t seem to be. “I’ve been in my bed, avoiding the cold!”

However, her roommate dragged her out into the snow. Aitana said that they went and traversed campus at five o’clock in the morning! Her roommate wanted to go take pictures in the snow and 5 am was the only chance she had because her flight was scheduled to leave that morning. Ironically, her flight back home to China was cancelled because of the weather!

Aitana said she has serious cabin fever. The icy roads have prevented her from going anywhere because no one wants to drive. She said she walked to Kroger just to get out of the dorms. I thought that was crazy! Aitana walked all the back carrying her groceries without gloves. See when I picture this scenario I can’t help but think of the scene in Home Alone when Kevin’s bags bust open on the way home.

Aitana asked me about my little’s trip to the hospital. I told her that she’s doing to be just fine –the stress of finals and the end of the semester got to her. Aitana told me about a similar situation that she witnessed earlier in the week. An ambulance came to the building she was studying in and carried out a girl on a stretcher. She overheard the EMTs saying the girl had taken too many pills – probably Adderall. The amount of stress that this girl experienced shocked Aitana.

Because we hadn’t talked since before Thanksgiving Break, I asked her about her trip to San Antonio. She spent Thanksgiving there with her sister. Aitana said she had a great time! They stayed at a friend’s house. Aitana was amazed by the size of the house – especially the kitchen! She loved cooking in it – the enjoyed large island in the middle. I asked her if homes in the US were larger than the homes in Spain. She agreed immediately.

“My house is much smaller and the kitchen!”

She said that her mother was jealous of the larger kitchens – she would love to have an island. Aitana says there’s much less counter space in Spanish kitchens and their refrigerators are much smaller, of course. Overall, Aitana loved being away from campus in an actual home. She felt like she experienced Thanksgiving in a truly American fashion.

Heading in the Right Direction

As this semester comes to a close, it’s time that I write my final learning blog! I find it insane that the fall semester of my sophomore year is basically over. Time moves almost too fast in college. And now I’m having trouble picking just one topic to blog about when it feels like I’ve learned so much! These past few months, I feel like I’ve experienced a great deal of personal growth. I’m finally starting to figure out my values and my goals for myself.

It hasn’t been easy. And I still don’t know everything about myself and where I’m headed in life – no one could possibly know that.  My dad especially has pushed me to begin thinking about my future, which is honestly strange. Not that my dad doesn’t care but he’s really not one to express opinions about my life. Growing up I was always very independent and made my own decisions. In high school, I chose all my classes, never asking for my parent’s opinion or help. I joined clubs and service organizations on my own without their encouragement. I figured out the college application process by myself, only really concerning them when I needed to pay an application fee. I didn’t even apply to my dad’s alma matter, Arizona State University. I think they wanted me to make my own decisions and think for myself. I was never some puppet child they could easily influence or control.

Obviously, my choices in high school paid off in the long run. I earned myself scholarships to multiple schools and many credit hours from taking AP classes. My parents were thrilled that I chose to attend TCU – it’s a great school and pretty close to home. Entering my freshmen year of college, though, I think my dad began to freak out about my independency. I declared Art History as my major – a field that he believes will not aid me in the future. Every time I speak with my dad, he proceeds to attack me with questions about my major, how I should look into other subjects, talk with advisors. On multiple occasions he has driven me to tears, making me feel as if I’m an idiot for choosing this degree plan.

I understand his concerns but I don’t feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. He obviously cares for me and wants the best for me. He’s said that I’m smart enough to do anything I like. He wants me to be able to support myself once I graduate, and not rely on him or anyone else to help me with money. I appreciate his concerns but the more he pushes me to reconsider my route, the more I seem to become convinced that I’m doing the right thing for me. I want to study something I enjoy and that will give me a fulfilling career that I am passionate about. Business will not make me happy, even if it may guarantee me a job.

The more my dad pesters me, though, the more I think about the future and what I need to accomplish to become successful in this major. I know that I will be attending some type of graduate school – either for a master’s in Art History or possibly law school. I’ve been researching internships and other opportunities that would give me experience. Although my dad’s concerns have been an annoyance, they have pushed me to prove him wrong and to think about the steps I need to take. Instead of listening to his criticisms and retreating from my passions, I’ve realized I can use them as motivation. It’s not that I want to prove my dad wrong, it’s that I want to show him what I can actually do with my major. I want to show him that there are opportunities out there for me if I go out and grab them.

I’ve found a role model in my older and similarly independent-minded brother. He’s been dreaming of working in the music industry since he was a teenager. In college he studied marketing but it’s his other experiences that really got his foot in the door. He worked for his college radio stations and interned for SXSW, a giant music and technology conference. His connections helped him earn a full-time job with SXSW. Although it took some time, he’s doing what he loves.

I’ve learned that at a certain point you need to take responsibility for your choices and trust your instincts. I know that the major I’ve chosen isn’t the easiest. I know I’ll need to work hard and make the right connections in order to find a job. In the end, though, I know that I’ll end up in a career that I’m passionate about.

Learning to Disconnect

So I know the class of 2016 all “read” The Shallows last year prior to the Common Reading but it wasn’t until this year that I actually began to think about the author’s message and how it applies to my life. If you need a refresher, which I’m absolutely positive that no student would, Nicholas Carr argues in his book that the Internet has changed our brains and thought processes. He proposes that we no longer possess to ability to read and think critically. Additionally, Carr believes that our attention spans have decreased because we have grown accustomed to reading short blurbs from websites, making it more difficult to read lengthy articles, books, and novels. While I don’t agree with everything that Carr discusses in his book, it made me think about the prevalence of the Internet, especially social media, in my everyday life.

A few months ago, my brother told me he deleted the Facebook app from his phone. Like any other teenager, I gasped at the thought – how could he possibly do this? What if he wanted to scroll the newsfeed or look at someone’s profile? Wouldn’t he feel disconnected? The more I thought about it though, the more I was tempted to do the same. I noticed that when my friends and I hung out, half of the time would be spent with us glued to our phones, checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and whatever else. What’s the point of spending time with someone if you aren’t even connecting?

Recently I deleted Facebook and Twitter off my phone. I found it to be freeing. With no lure of checking up on my online world, I could focus more on the people I was with and divulge into more meaningful conversations. I wasn’t preoccupied with my online image, with posting pictures of my life and friends and constantly looking to see how many likes a photo gets. In another class this semester, we have discussed how social media allows individuals to form their identity like never before. You can pick and chose what to put out there and edit out the bad parts. It’s easy to project any reputation you want: post party pictures and everyone will think you’re a social butterfly; boast your achievements and awards and your friends will find you successful. This concept freaked me out. I felt self-conscious about people looking at my profile and making assumptions. It made me take down all the photos that I had published from this year at TCU – I didn’t want people to make snap judgments about me.

In distancing myself from Facebook and Twitter, I’ve adopted a “less is more” attitude toward social media. It’s entertaining to log on and update myself maybe once in a day but I no longer feel the need to constantly check up on it. I have learned to be more thoughtful about what I put out on the Internet. Although I’ve stated earlier that I don’t particularly like blogging, it’s grown on me. I think it’s a better way to put yourself out there in the online world. Rather than just thoughtless throwing different versions of the same photos on Facebook, I can carefully piece my thoughts together. People can form their judgments of me based on my opinions and ideas as opposed to some photos.

And don’t think I’m totally against Facebook, Twitter, etc. They’re great ways to stay connected with relatives and old friends. Some of my friends post interesting articles and share exciting events in their life. I just don’t think it should be substituted for actual human interaction. Don’t let Facebook and Twitter apps suck you in and away from those people you chose to spend time with!

The Art of Thinking with Sounds

This past October I finally made it to Zilker Park for Austin City Limits, a three-day music festival. I’ve wanted to go for years. My expectations were blown away. It was just a weekend of hanging out and listening to music, which is right up my alley. But it made me realize the significance that music holds in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t pull out my headphones and lose myself in the Shins, Kings of Leon, or the like. I recently began thinking about the impact music has had on me and as well as my learning.

 Once during a family dinner, my brother and my dad brought up an interesting point: instead of listening to the words of a song, they listen to the instruments, beat, and rhythm. I found this to be true for myself as well. When I hear a song for the first time, I won’t remember the words, except possibly for the chorus. It takes listening to a song multiple times before the lyrics even register in my mind. Even the words of my favorite songs I may not know. For me, I find enjoyment in the instrumentals.

This explains why I like such a diverse assortment of artists and genres, from Kid Cudi and Kendrick Lamar to Noah and the Whale and alt-J. I enjoy artists that create interesting and complex songs because they capture my attention more than simpler tunes. For example, the reason I don’t enjoy country as much as other genres of music lies in the fact that those musicians invest more in their lyrics. Their lyrics overshadow less complex instrumental arrangements. For some reason, I need the complexity of the instrumentals to draw me in. My brain works in a way that needs that stimuli rather than lyrical stimulation.

Once I’ve listened to a song probably close to ten times, the lyrics finally register with me. I think I have to sort past everything else to be able to focus my attention on the words. But once I truly listen to the words, they stick with me. I think I hear certain lines in a song at moments in my life when I really need them. Certain lyrics embody everything that I’m feeling at that particular moment in time. It’s comforting to know that someone else experienced the same things and turned it into something beautiful.

For example, at the end of last semester, I was very stressed out. Finals were insane and I felt suffocated just being at TCU. One of my favorite artists, Kid Cudi, released a new album about two or three weeks before finals. Instead of listening to it immediately, I vowed to wait until I could give my entire attention to it. As soon as I got home, I locked myself in my room and listened to that album all the way through. The song “Immortal” seemed to lift me from my funk.

"Spent the last month feeling bad 'bout myself
I couldn't even speak anything of real hope
And the day came when it hit me like lightning through my veins
A sudden change in my groove, in my walk"

Music put things in perspective for me. It makes me think about things in a whole new way. Even though I don't play an instrument or study music in any way, I feel like just listening to music as much as I do has affected my cognitive abilities. I grew up in a family of music lovers. I was exposed to a variety of genres at a young age. My dad loves classic rock, jazz, and bluegrass. My mom would play 80s New Wave endlessly in the car. And my brother, much like me,  listened to everything. Constantly listening to so many different types of music and just music in general helped me as a student. I have a terrific memory and analytical skills. And I find myself to be a creative thinker. I attribute all this to the cognitive stimulation that listening to music causes.

Music will always be a part of my life. I will always be searching for that unique sound and endlessly analyzing the albums of my favorite artists. Concerts will never cease to be a borderline religious experience for me. My life becomes so much brighter whenever music plays. And my brain doesn't seem to mind either.