Heading in the Right Direction

As this semester comes to a close, it’s time that I write my final learning blog! I find it insane that the fall semester of my sophomore year is basically over. Time moves almost too fast in college. And now I’m having trouble picking just one topic to blog about when it feels like I’ve learned so much! These past few months, I feel like I’ve experienced a great deal of personal growth. I’m finally starting to figure out my values and my goals for myself.

It hasn’t been easy. And I still don’t know everything about myself and where I’m headed in life – no one could possibly know that.  My dad especially has pushed me to begin thinking about my future, which is honestly strange. Not that my dad doesn’t care but he’s really not one to express opinions about my life. Growing up I was always very independent and made my own decisions. In high school, I chose all my classes, never asking for my parent’s opinion or help. I joined clubs and service organizations on my own without their encouragement. I figured out the college application process by myself, only really concerning them when I needed to pay an application fee. I didn’t even apply to my dad’s alma matter, Arizona State University. I think they wanted me to make my own decisions and think for myself. I was never some puppet child they could easily influence or control.

Obviously, my choices in high school paid off in the long run. I earned myself scholarships to multiple schools and many credit hours from taking AP classes. My parents were thrilled that I chose to attend TCU – it’s a great school and pretty close to home. Entering my freshmen year of college, though, I think my dad began to freak out about my independency. I declared Art History as my major – a field that he believes will not aid me in the future. Every time I speak with my dad, he proceeds to attack me with questions about my major, how I should look into other subjects, talk with advisors. On multiple occasions he has driven me to tears, making me feel as if I’m an idiot for choosing this degree plan.

I understand his concerns but I don’t feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. He obviously cares for me and wants the best for me. He’s said that I’m smart enough to do anything I like. He wants me to be able to support myself once I graduate, and not rely on him or anyone else to help me with money. I appreciate his concerns but the more he pushes me to reconsider my route, the more I seem to become convinced that I’m doing the right thing for me. I want to study something I enjoy and that will give me a fulfilling career that I am passionate about. Business will not make me happy, even if it may guarantee me a job.

The more my dad pesters me, though, the more I think about the future and what I need to accomplish to become successful in this major. I know that I will be attending some type of graduate school – either for a master’s in Art History or possibly law school. I’ve been researching internships and other opportunities that would give me experience. Although my dad’s concerns have been an annoyance, they have pushed me to prove him wrong and to think about the steps I need to take. Instead of listening to his criticisms and retreating from my passions, I’ve realized I can use them as motivation. It’s not that I want to prove my dad wrong, it’s that I want to show him what I can actually do with my major. I want to show him that there are opportunities out there for me if I go out and grab them.

I’ve found a role model in my older and similarly independent-minded brother. He’s been dreaming of working in the music industry since he was a teenager. In college he studied marketing but it’s his other experiences that really got his foot in the door. He worked for his college radio stations and interned for SXSW, a giant music and technology conference. His connections helped him earn a full-time job with SXSW. Although it took some time, he’s doing what he loves.

I’ve learned that at a certain point you need to take responsibility for your choices and trust your instincts. I know that the major I’ve chosen isn’t the easiest. I know I’ll need to work hard and make the right connections in order to find a job. In the end, though, I know that I’ll end up in a career that I’m passionate about.

Learning to Disconnect

So I know the class of 2016 all “read” The Shallows last year prior to the Common Reading but it wasn’t until this year that I actually began to think about the author’s message and how it applies to my life. If you need a refresher, which I’m absolutely positive that no student would, Nicholas Carr argues in his book that the Internet has changed our brains and thought processes. He proposes that we no longer possess to ability to read and think critically. Additionally, Carr believes that our attention spans have decreased because we have grown accustomed to reading short blurbs from websites, making it more difficult to read lengthy articles, books, and novels. While I don’t agree with everything that Carr discusses in his book, it made me think about the prevalence of the Internet, especially social media, in my everyday life.

A few months ago, my brother told me he deleted the Facebook app from his phone. Like any other teenager, I gasped at the thought – how could he possibly do this? What if he wanted to scroll the newsfeed or look at someone’s profile? Wouldn’t he feel disconnected? The more I thought about it though, the more I was tempted to do the same. I noticed that when my friends and I hung out, half of the time would be spent with us glued to our phones, checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and whatever else. What’s the point of spending time with someone if you aren’t even connecting?

Recently I deleted Facebook and Twitter off my phone. I found it to be freeing. With no lure of checking up on my online world, I could focus more on the people I was with and divulge into more meaningful conversations. I wasn’t preoccupied with my online image, with posting pictures of my life and friends and constantly looking to see how many likes a photo gets. In another class this semester, we have discussed how social media allows individuals to form their identity like never before. You can pick and chose what to put out there and edit out the bad parts. It’s easy to project any reputation you want: post party pictures and everyone will think you’re a social butterfly; boast your achievements and awards and your friends will find you successful. This concept freaked me out. I felt self-conscious about people looking at my profile and making assumptions. It made me take down all the photos that I had published from this year at TCU – I didn’t want people to make snap judgments about me.

In distancing myself from Facebook and Twitter, I’ve adopted a “less is more” attitude toward social media. It’s entertaining to log on and update myself maybe once in a day but I no longer feel the need to constantly check up on it. I have learned to be more thoughtful about what I put out on the Internet. Although I’ve stated earlier that I don’t particularly like blogging, it’s grown on me. I think it’s a better way to put yourself out there in the online world. Rather than just thoughtless throwing different versions of the same photos on Facebook, I can carefully piece my thoughts together. People can form their judgments of me based on my opinions and ideas as opposed to some photos.

And don’t think I’m totally against Facebook, Twitter, etc. They’re great ways to stay connected with relatives and old friends. Some of my friends post interesting articles and share exciting events in their life. I just don’t think it should be substituted for actual human interaction. Don’t let Facebook and Twitter apps suck you in and away from those people you chose to spend time with!

The Art of Thinking with Sounds

This past October I finally made it to Zilker Park for Austin City Limits, a three-day music festival. I’ve wanted to go for years. My expectations were blown away. It was just a weekend of hanging out and listening to music, which is right up my alley. But it made me realize the significance that music holds in my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t pull out my headphones and lose myself in the Shins, Kings of Leon, or the like. I recently began thinking about the impact music has had on me and as well as my learning.

 Once during a family dinner, my brother and my dad brought up an interesting point: instead of listening to the words of a song, they listen to the instruments, beat, and rhythm. I found this to be true for myself as well. When I hear a song for the first time, I won’t remember the words, except possibly for the chorus. It takes listening to a song multiple times before the lyrics even register in my mind. Even the words of my favorite songs I may not know. For me, I find enjoyment in the instrumentals.

This explains why I like such a diverse assortment of artists and genres, from Kid Cudi and Kendrick Lamar to Noah and the Whale and alt-J. I enjoy artists that create interesting and complex songs because they capture my attention more than simpler tunes. For example, the reason I don’t enjoy country as much as other genres of music lies in the fact that those musicians invest more in their lyrics. Their lyrics overshadow less complex instrumental arrangements. For some reason, I need the complexity of the instrumentals to draw me in. My brain works in a way that needs that stimuli rather than lyrical stimulation.

Once I’ve listened to a song probably close to ten times, the lyrics finally register with me. I think I have to sort past everything else to be able to focus my attention on the words. But once I truly listen to the words, they stick with me. I think I hear certain lines in a song at moments in my life when I really need them. Certain lyrics embody everything that I’m feeling at that particular moment in time. It’s comforting to know that someone else experienced the same things and turned it into something beautiful.

For example, at the end of last semester, I was very stressed out. Finals were insane and I felt suffocated just being at TCU. One of my favorite artists, Kid Cudi, released a new album about two or three weeks before finals. Instead of listening to it immediately, I vowed to wait until I could give my entire attention to it. As soon as I got home, I locked myself in my room and listened to that album all the way through. The song “Immortal” seemed to lift me from my funk.

"Spent the last month feeling bad 'bout myself
I couldn't even speak anything of real hope
And the day came when it hit me like lightning through my veins
A sudden change in my groove, in my walk"

Music put things in perspective for me. It makes me think about things in a whole new way. Even though I don't play an instrument or study music in any way, I feel like just listening to music as much as I do has affected my cognitive abilities. I grew up in a family of music lovers. I was exposed to a variety of genres at a young age. My dad loves classic rock, jazz, and bluegrass. My mom would play 80s New Wave endlessly in the car. And my brother, much like me,  listened to everything. Constantly listening to so many different types of music and just music in general helped me as a student. I have a terrific memory and analytical skills. And I find myself to be a creative thinker. I attribute all this to the cognitive stimulation that listening to music causes.

Music will always be a part of my life. I will always be searching for that unique sound and endlessly analyzing the albums of my favorite artists. Concerts will never cease to be a borderline religious experience for me. My life becomes so much brighter whenever music plays. And my brain doesn't seem to mind either.

Round Three with Aitana

Once again, my conversation with Aitana went better than the last! Every time I meet with her, I feel like her English improves immensely. Immersion programs like the one offered at TCU seem to work extremely effectively. I think that’s the best way to learn a language – getting thrown into it and not being able to speak anything else. Constant exposure and practice is the only way to become fluent in a foreign language. It also helps you remember the language for a longer period of time. I may have taken Spanish in high school but it’s difficult for me to recall everything I learned because I don’t speak it everyday. And I wasn’t fully immersed in the language in the first place!

Anyway, back to the conversation. Aitana told me she’s looking for a job. Since she only has class in the morning, the rest of her day is pretty uneventful. I suggested she apply to work at the rec center. They’re always hiring there! She did say that she’s going to start babysitting for a family in the area. I think that would be a great opportunity for her! In addition to killing some of her free time, spending time with young children would help her English skills.

We also discussed the upcoming Thanksgiving Break. I explained to her how we only have school Monday and Tuesday next week and then we have a much-needed five-day weekend! She seemed excited about that. I also explained the significance of Thanksgiving – gathering with your family and loved ones to recognize how much there is to be thankful for in your life. And the food of course. I asked her if she had any plans for the break. Aitana’s stepsister invited her to spend the holiday with her in San Antonio. I told her all about San Antonio – the river walk, Mexican food, and the Alamo. Of course, Aitana had never heard of the Alamo so I gave her a little lesson in Texas history.

I was curious to know if there was a Spanish equivalent to Thanksgiving. Aitana said that there’s no day like Thanksgiving celebrated in Spain. She did tell me about Holy Week, which takes place the week before Easter each year. People gather in the center of the cities and perform processions throughout the city. Aitana told me the people pray and contemplate God while they walk. She said she likes to get away from the city during this time.

“There are way too many people,” Aitana told me. “It’s too crowded.”

Our conversation then shifted away from holidays and onto a much more random subject.

“My friend and I think you look like the girl in Like Crazy!” she exclaimed. “You don’t look like a typical American girl. You look British!”

I was quite flattered. Felicity Jones, the actress in that movie, is gorgeous! And it wasn’t the first time someone had told me I looked British. I actually hear that frequently – maybe that’s why I’ve developed an obsession with England. Aitana mentioned that it’s much harder for her to understand English accents as opposed to American accents. It makes sense. Americans speak with more breaks whereas Brits speak with fluency. Their speech flows more, making it more difficult to catch what they’re saying if you’re learning English. Americans take more pauses, breaking up their sentences, making it easier for those learning English to absorb.

I asked Aitana about her roommate’s learning progress. She is also in TCU’s Intensive Language Program. Her roommate is from China. Aitana complained about how her roommate is so shy. She says she hardly ever talks, which makes it difficult for her to improve her language skills. She also only hangs out with other Chinese people, while Aitana spends time with a diverse group of people. Her roommate probably speaks Chinese with her friends, impeding her English skills. Aitana hangs out with other students in the program – people from Russia, Saudi Arabia, and other countries. They’re getting a lot more practice because they have to talk to each other in English. That’s probably why Aitana already speaks pretty good English!

The Greatest Weapon: Laughter

Let me preface my second laughter blog by acknowledging the fact that I am completely aware of the fact that my friends and I are complete weirdos.  We often partake in odd conversations and act on idiotic ideas. Honestly though, I’m not sure what happened last Friday afternoon but I’m pretty sure we reached a whole new level of strange.

It started out like any other Friday, well except this particular Friday I had an Italian test and I did not feel prepared. I have no idea why any professor would schedule a test for Friday! I’m already so exhausted and sick of schoolwork by Thursday that the last thing I want to do is study for an exam. And on top of that there were four different verb tenses on this test! I can barely keep the present tense straight in my mind – how could it be possible to distinguish between four?! After lying around for another thirty minutes after my alarm, I finally pulled myself out of bed and began to look over my notes. I felt overwhelmed by the amount of information I needed to know. Italian phrases and verb conjugations crowded my brain, threatening to spill out of my ears.

I somehow successfully managed to keep my facts straight on my exam and at 12:50 pm, I was finally free. After enjoying my free Chick-fil-a, I headed over to my friend’s apartment in Tom Brown to hang out and relax. My friends and I were just sitting on the couch when I accidentally spilled chips all over the place. Suddenly it was crisis mode. I’m not sure why we were so alarmed by the chip spillage but we proceeded to hunt for a vacuum to clean up the mess.

My friend – who shall remain nameless as to protect her “normal” reputation – found a handheld vacuum cleaner. Crisis averted – we cleaned the crumbs from the couch cushions – but the vacuuming did not stop there. I had also somehow gotten crumbs inside the bottom of my pant leg. Obviously the only solution was to vacuum my pants as well. This turned into vacuuming each other’s feet for a good ten minutes.

As we sat there vacuuming each other’s feet, laughter erupted and flooded the apartment. My friend’s roommate came out and saw what we were doing. We sucked her in (ha get it?) and soon enough her feet were thoroughly cleaned. Eventually we started vacuuming our legs and arms with this handheld vacuum. The sensation is very odd – it tickles you and warms you at the same time. Seriously, try it for yourself!

Now as for the source of our laughter, I believe that it was a combination of relief and relaxation. I had been stressed all morning about my test and needed to blow – or suck – off some steam. Somehow the situation escalated to the vacuuming of each other’s extremities, which evoked laughter just from the sheer peculiarity of the activity. Our laughter resulted from our relaxation, the mere recognition of the strangeness of the situation. We laughed to break the tension. Our laughter seemed to bring us closer together, and even caused others to join in on our activity. Those are some of the greatest results of laughter – relief and the formation of closer ties. Mark Twain was attributed with saying, “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” I truly believe that laughter is the best relief from any hardship – it brings joy and a renewed perspective on life. Things start to look up whenever you laugh.

Round Two with Aitana!

I finally met with Aitana again today! We had both been so busy that it was almost impossible to schedule another meeting since our first. I could tell that her English had already improved tremendously – I felt like we had a much smoother conversation. She also seemed more outgoing and enthusiastic.

The subject of Halloween came up of course! We discussed our costumes and festivities for the evening. She told me about going downtown to some clubs with her friends. I asked her about Halloween in Spain and of course it’s not as highly celebrated as in the States. Kids do not trick or treat on Halloween night. They may have a party with some friends and dress in their costumes.

Because we were on the subject of holidays, I told her all about the Christmas tree lighting in the Commons – complete with actual reindeer and fireworks. Aitana seemed to light up with excitement. She told me that she’s excited to the Christmas season and the cold weather that accompanies it.

“It never gets cold in Madrid!” she informed me. “And I haven’t seen snow in seven years!”

I told her that she shouldn’t get too excited for snow – it only really snows maybe once in the winter – but that it does get pretty cold. Aitana can’t wait to wear all the cozy winter clothes and she’s extremely glad that it won’t be sweltering hot anymore. We talked about the almost unbearable Texas summers.

“I’m completely drenched in sweat anytime I go outside!” Aitana mentioned. “But then you walk inside and it’s freezing!”

Then, she asked me about my sorority – I almost didn’t know what she was trying to ask me! I thought she was saying “substitutes.”

“Like the fraternities for girls,” she finally said.

“Ooooh sororities!” I laughed. “Yeah all those r’s make if kind of hard to pronounce.”

She thought it was funny that all the guys in the fraternities had to wear suits, even in the sweltering August heat. We discussed the popularity of Greek life – that it’s pretty popular in the South as compared to the North and the West coast. She was also interested in why I choose my sorority. It was such a change from our first conversation! I felt like she really wanted to get to know me - our talk wasn’t forced and awkward like the first time around.

I asked her how her classes were going. She brought up an interesting point about the program. Her classes are filled with students from all over the world – Spain, Russia, the Middle East. In addition to learning about American culture, Aitana also has the chance to talk to students from other countries and learn about their cultures. She told me about a guy from Saudi Arabia. He doesn’t like the fact that women can drive in the States because it’s illegal for women to drive in his country. She said that it’s fun to talk with other people and exchange views – but that she’s also learned when to keep her mouth shut and be respectful.

I really enjoyed my conversation with Aitana this week! Hopefully we won’t have to wait as long to have another.